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Report from Provincial Court at Bear’s Tavern

On the ninth day of March, Anno Societatis 58, their Excellencies of Østgarðr, the Viceréinas Angelica di Nova Lipa and Sofya Gianetta di Trieste, did venture to the northern woods of their domain to mingle with the commonfolk at Bear’s Tavern. 

Seeing it well fit and felicitous to bring certain business before the populace, they did determine to hold court in that rustic setting, the proceedings of which I am by my avocation bound to record herein.

First, their Excellencies requested the presence of the tavern’s steward, Lord Oliver deBainbrig, and did thank him for making them welcoming, and he in his turn thanked the tavern’s guests and staff. The Viceréinas then presented him with a drinking vessel as a token of their appreciation for his service on that day and in many days past — but when passed to his hand, it was heard to jingle and rattle, and upon a moment’s examination it was discovered to hold a gleaming chain marked with the insignia of the province’s highest honor, the Seahorse! The herald did then call for the representatives of that august order to rise and join Lord Oliver as he was proclaimed the newest member of their esteemed ranks.

Next their Excellencies invited Lady Laurie Anne Parr to join them, and thanked her graciously for leading the team of cooks who had spent the day in the tavern’s kitchen, churning out soups and roasts and delectable tidbits — for indeed, it would be a drab tavern that lacked a hearty repast, and a weakened province that failed to provision their populace. Lady Laurie then took her leave, returning to the bustling pantry bearing their gift of a silver cup in recognition of her efforts.

Their Excellencies did then call for members of their council of officers to step forward, presenting them with medallions bearing the branch arms so that both friend and stranger would know them on sight as the province’s official representatives.

Finding a lull in the docket, their herald did then doff his tabard and beg a moment of indulgence for a personal matter. Their Excellencies, clever in the ways of men, sensed the nature of the issue at hand and first invited their anatine cousins, the sister-baronesses of An Dubhaigeainn, to join them in court as witnesses. With a surplus of stilted speechifying, as is too-often the wont of heralds, in earnest fulfillment of a citrine quest he did present two cushions bearing the likeness of the perfect lemon he had been charged to find. But his flowery words did not move their Excellencies, who appraised the poufs and found them wanting; indeed, observed their noble cousin, perhaps it was not far-off Cathay from whence the false fruits had been procured, but merely the Amazon. Dismayed, the penitent swore to redouble his efforts in anticipation of their next meeting, and withdrew meekly with praise for their mercy.

There being no other business before them, their Excellencies did therein close their court, and returned to the convivial discourse and intemperate drinking that does characterize such humble venues where the commonfolk gather in their periods of idleness.

These were the events of the day as recalled by their servant,

— Mathghamhain Ua Ruadháin
— Seahorse Pursuivant

Inspection of the lemons. (Photograph courtesy of Kira Zimmer.)

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